REFLECTING ON MY LIFESTYLE

Tired of being so busy. I would prefer living for the moment. I would like to be a hippie.
Grateful for a regular job with a regular paycheck in a place that feels like home.
Conflicting feelings pull me in different directions.
How many people have two different residences? I do.
I have two families too. And I have pets, and friends, and a job.
I am rich in resources and the freedom to choose.
When I am in Perris, I am in charge. I get to be a mom to my teenage children.
When I am in Corona, I am subservient to Doug. I get to be a step-mom to his young kids.
This morning, I missed Doug. I missed his kiss. I missed his face.
Last night, I sat at the table, making hemp bracelets with Michelle, and watching Josh play video games.
I felt so content; I did not want to go to bed.
I enjoy being in their company and the warmth of my home.
This morning, I received an email from Sean.
“We are leaving Cabo. Don and Carrie bought a time share there. You’ll have to join us next time.”
I graciously declined until the year 2010, which is when I'll indulge myself in traveling with friends.
They are not angry.
They understand.
They will wait.
I am blessed.
I am loved.
I am free.
I am me.
I am.
We.

Tujie 9/24/07